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Here’s one thing I can’t seem to understand. Do I define my own progress? Does hard work pay off? Is there something I can continue to do over and over again and never be good at or make any progress at because something intrinsically in me has a ceiling that can not be crossed?

Maybe there is an unknown quotient that remains after all the physical work is done that cancels out the work so as to make my attempts null and void.

Maybe my way is set in stone and I can not deviate left or right. It is fate. It is destiny. It is tragic.